I wish I could say that this blog is just about my writing. But it's not.

I tried that once, you know...a blog for my writing and a blog for my personal life. But I got tired of switching back and forth and it often seemed like I hardly posted in the writing blog, so I just cut down to one.

 

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I'm back to the tablet races, as it were.

Originally, I thought I'd never have much money for a tablet...I probably wouldn't be able to afford one for many years to come; maybe after I set up my midwifery practice or got a sizable book advance. I figured the best I could hope for would be to buy a Nook and jailbreak it so that I could have an economical Android tablet for around $150 less than the cheapest tablet from any other brand.

Now I find out that I might be coming into a little more money than I expected, which means I can probably shell out for an actual tablet. The question is, which one do I choose?

 

I researched several models earlier this year and decided that, if I had the money, a BlackBerry PlayBook would probably be my best bet. CNet seemed very favorable in its review and I own a Bold, so I could easily bridge from my phone to the tablet. But I re-read CNet's review this evening and the PlayBook doesn't seem appealing as it once did.

So my mind automatically turned to the iPad 2. The iPad seems to be the most popular out there (everyone I see with a tablet seems to have one) and having had an iPod Touch 4G last fall, I thought I'd probably like having an iPad. But when I posted a "wonder" to my Facebook wall, my friend Amber said "not an iPad...I don't recommend it". She didn't go into details, so I wrote back and asked why...still waiting for an answer.

If a PlayBook isn't all that fabulous and iPads aren't great either (despite seemingly everyone on the planet having one these days), I guess that leaves me with the Galaxy Tab from Samsung. But CNet's review wasn't very favorable on the Tab, so I don't know what to think.

 

Actually, I do know what to think. Verizon sells all three, so I think I'm going to march my ass down there when the time comes and say, "Which one do you recommend and why?" That's the best way.

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School is...going.

 

I loathe medical terminology and ask myself every week why I bothered to take it--outside of the fact that it was recommended to me last fall and I needed another class, of course. I can never seem to remember what I'm supposed to remember every week and I hate having a class where you have to spell your answers perfectly or it's marked down.

A friend on another site asked what the point was in taking such a class, seeing as I was studying alternative medicine. First, I had to correct her on what I was studying. (I already have a degree in alternative medicine, as you might know, and am now working my way into nursing.) Second, while heavy on terms dealing with tests, surgical repair, etc., med terms also deals with illnesses of various parts of the body. So in reality, I probably should've had this class as an undergrad--despite the fact that it wasn't offered by my school.

 

Nothing wrong with introduction to diagnostic medical imaging, though. The quizzes are short and untimed, the material is fascinating (and mercifully brief) and I have (or shortly will have) an A in that class. How can I complain?

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Work, however, is in a holding pattern.

I won't specify where I work, despite the fact that I'm only holiday help. Never know when I might want to rant...and I wouldn't want to get into trouble.

 

Well, it should probably be "where I will work". See, I got hired after my interview on Thursday, but the business manager (or whatever she is) who is in charge of scheduling orientation and training was gone by the time I walked out at 5:30--despite the fact that I heard her say she wasn't leaving 'til six.

So I waited patiently all day Friday, thinking that she would call when she came into work the following day. No call.

Monday afternoon, I called and reached "T", who said that the computers had gone down over the weekend and that her assistant wasn't able to fill out the necessary requisitions for the holiday help. The holiday associates can't be oriented until they're in the system and T had a conference call coming up at three, so she hoped to get it done later that afternoon, that evening, or sometime on Tuesday.

Today is Wednesday. I spoke to "C", who told me that T would call me Friday and tell me when it was I would be oriented and trained. Friday. More than a week after I was hired.

 

*sigh*

 

I hate being in that nasty little spot where you're not technically unemployed, but you're sure as hell not drawing a paycheck, either.

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Where the hell did my writing abilities go? Did I finally burn out? I mean, I wrote a pretty decent poem the other day, but what the hell happened to my novel? I've worked on it maybe once in the last two or three weeks!

This morning, I talked to my new friend Jamie until 1:45, so I was too tired to even think about writing.

Tuesday morning--mercifully--I wrote. Almost the entire front of one piece of paper.

Monday morning? I had a fresh sheet of paper with the chapter header on it and the date that chapter took place up in the corner and nothing. No words, no thoughts...nothing. I can't tell you the last time I stared at a blank page and nothing came. It just doesn't happen to me! (I think the only reason I was able to write yesterday morning was because I looked at a...certain set of pictures for inspiration.)

 

Before that? Two, two and a half weeks since I'd written.

 

Being sick was a legitimate excuse, but I'm in a lot better shape now. In fact, if it wasn't for the occasional food stuck in my throat and the fact that I think my stomach would raise holy hell if I tried to stop taking Prilosec, I'd say I was all better. But that's beside the point.

Did I finally burn out? I suspected it was heading in that direction. It's like that epic fit I had when my mother criticized me just blew away all my desire to write and that was the end.

 

 

So much for becoming a famous novelista...

I know I should be working on my homework...and then my admissions essay for Michigan State University...and then my novel...but doing whatever the hell you feel like is just so much easier. *chuckle*

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I'm sure I'm not the only one who can see certain faces on "People You May Know" on Facebook and start thinking about...whatever. So tonight's topic is my Greek experiences at OC. (I probably covered this in depth last fall, so if you read that, please feel free to skip this.)

Note that the names and identifying symbols of each sorority have been changed. If I think a certain event might make that particular sorority identifiable, I'll just leave a blank space. I'm sorry if the spaces take the fun out of things, but I don't want any problems from anyone, either.

 

~*~

There are four sororities at OC: Tau Gamma ("Tau"), Kappa Lambda Pi (which is known by another, non-Greek name that I'll simply refer to as T), Xi Delta Omicron and another that I can't remember the name of. (It looks like it was turned into a colony after I left, because I no longer see it listed on the school website. I'll just call it "Rho".) There is also a co-ed organization, Beta Mu Zeta ("Beta Z"). In fact, Beta Z was once a national organization, but their charter was revoked when they began admitting men.

 

I'll admit straight off that I had no association with the Rho sisters, save for the one or two I had classes with. I thought Rho was for "women of color" and by the time I was disabused of that notion, my heart had already been given to another sorority.

T, I only visited once. Even though one of my coworkers at the library was a T sister (and a friend of mine), I kind of got the impression that the T sisters were a bit snooty. I must have been one of the few that thought so, however, because the night I was there, T had the most sworn sisters present, (possibly) the most visitors and several alumnae. And, after I left OC, I learned that T had gotten the second-most pledges.

I visited Tau a couple of times, but they were a bit wild for my tastes. I was used to the national organizations at Western, with their talk of philanthropies and everything else, so I was surprised on my first visit when the Tau sisters (possibly) spent the whole time playing drinking games. (I use the qualifier because I left after the second game.) The second time, the alcohol wasn't pressed on anybody, but the Taus invited _____, which shocked the shit out of me. Worse? Finding out that the Taus had had _____ along for the ride for many years. One of my friends at the library had been involved in the Greek system for a long time and when I told her about the _____, she said, "Oh...I was hoping they didn't do that anymore." (You knew that I was going to a Tau party, you knew the sisters were fond of having _____ in, but you didn't warn me ahead of time?! Thanks, J!)

 

In the end, I gave my heart to Xi Delta Omicron. Something about them caught my eye from the very first. Maybe it was because their mascot is a _____, maybe it's because their colors are _____ and ______, but I knew that Xi Delta was a sorority I wanted to know more about and whenever they announced a new event, I'd be sure to jump on it.

And I did. I had a lot of fun, too. It's true that things fell apart in the end, but I cannot deny that the fact that I showed up for all but one Xi Delta event (including the final, pre-bid interview) means that I was committed and I knew that was where I wanted to be. (My mind had definitely pledged Xi Delta by the time homecoming was over...I was describing stuff that I had done with them over the weekend to a Greek-involved gentleman I was friends with and I kept saying "we"!)

~*~

The reason I decided to write this entry was to talk about Beta Z...because it was a Beta Z that came up in "People You May Know".

 

Everyone I met had nothing bad to say about Beta Z. They were nice. They were fun-loving. They were all-inclusive. (They attracted a boatload of people from my hometown, as I eventually discovered.) They threw great parties. Once again, I seemed to be the only one who had problems.

The Beta Z "family" (for lack of a better word) had us go around to different rooms and each room had a theme. The theme of the third and fourth rooms run together in my mind...but that's probably because they kind of ran together in real life, too. At some point, the family got started talking about rumors--especially initiation rumors. I won't go into the rumors (they're pretty nasty--and probably completely unsubstantiated); nevertheless, I think what bothered me is not that they wouldn't stop discussing the rumors, but that they wouldn't assure us that they would never engage in any such thing. It was all "we can't tell you...wait and see". Now I don't know about you, but any group that won't comfort you by saying, "Oh, we'd never do anything like that...don't worry!" even if it is a lie, is not a group I want to associate with. Instead, the family members involved in the discussion hid behind their oaths and refused to budge a centimeter. It was like running up against a wall--frustrating and insanely scary all at once.

I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but I remember getting extremely annoyed with the family--to the point of tears--accusing them of using their dues to buy friends and storming out of the house. I was so upset by what had happened at Beta Z that I swore off sororities forever...or at least up until I received the next invitation from Xi Delta Omicron, anyway.

As a Priestess of the Goddess, I can tell you that my Order, like so many other orders, traditions, clans, etc., has its secrets. And I, like so many other Pagans, am oathbound to keep those secrets. But I will never, ever hide behind my oath. If someone asks me, "Do the Priestesses push Neophytes down the stairs as part of their initiation?" I'm not going to say, "I'm not allowed to tell you. Wait and see." because the seeker will think, "That probably means yes" and there is no way in hell that they'll think for a milisecond about joining. But if I say something like, "I can't answer that specifically, but I can tell you that we'd never do anything to hurt you." then the seeker will be comforted.

 

I guess I'm kind of rambling here. I was going to add another part about a certain Beta Z sister, but that might lend to even more trouble.

Let's just say that Beta Z has a sister that, if people I went to school with could see hir now, they'd think s/he was even crazier than s/he was before.

And I was pissed that when I saw hir at Beta Z, s/he treated me very coolly, as if I was a complete stranger. I almost started a coven with hir, for fuck's sake...how can s/he treat me like a stranger?!

I bet s/he doesn't even practice anymore, though. If s/he does? S/he'd probably give me some line about experiencing the duality of the gods better than ever. Because that would be just like hir.

I don't usually post two blogs in one night, but when I'm cheesed, I'm cheesed.

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I don't understand why everyone at Michigan State University is making such a big, hairy deal about someone writing "No niggers, please " on someone's dry erase board.

I mean, seriously...we live in an era of people drawing penises on the dry erase boards of others, decorating them with profanity and other insults and we suddenly care about this? Personally, I have no problem blowing it off as another incident of "college-age bullshit".

Yes, I realize the term "nigger" is racially and socially charged, has a long history that includes violence and so on and so forth...but really? How is this not just another incidence of college bullshit? We can let sororities at what are supposed to be Christian schools drink behind the backs of the administration and pay strippers to come in and entertain potential pledges, but this gets our attention?

So say it was meant seriously and it wasn't "college-age bullshit"...why are people freaking about this and not a hundred and one little issues nationwide? If you're going to freak out over this, freak out over underfunded schools...freak out over poor graduation rates...freak out about underage drinking...freak out about people breaking campus rules with all of the rest of the students turning a blind eye. But don't you dare cherry-pick your issues. Tackle it all or ignore it all--otherwise, you're doing nothing more than putting a fresh coat of paint on a decrepit house.

~*~

What earned me the title of "racist" by someone on Twitter tonight, was the fact that I called "people of color" whiny.

 

Hate to break it to you, but a lot of them are.

 

The "poor me...my people are sooo tortured" card has been played so long, it's amazing it's not falling apart in their hands. It seems like lots of black people (or at least black leaders) are always racing to their podiums and decrying this that and the other thing. Some of them are sitting in their churches and praying their asses off and wondering why their god won't help them. People, there is a reason why there's a saying that goes "god helps those who help themselves"!

What happened to the days of Rosa Parks refusing to sit in the "colored section" of the bus? What happened to the days of the Million Man March on Washington and the thousands of people marching on Selma, Alabama and everywhere else? So maybe it's "racist" to ask why black people aren't getting off their asses and doing something like the old days. So what? If I'm "racist" for asking, "Would Rosa Parks be happy with the current situation in the black community? Would Martin Luther King, Jr.? Would any of the other famous names of days gone by?" then let me be racist. I have no problem being called racist over wanting black people to get off their asses like they did in times past.

If you have a problem--whatever your color--don't sit there and whine and wait for someone to do something. Take action for yourself. The world isn't going to change by talk alone.

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P.S.: If you caught my rant on Twitter, when I said "people of color", I meant black people. Last I checked, Latinos were doers, not whiners. And I don't know much about the racism in regards to Asians, etc. (except for maybe a little in regards to post-9/11 racism), so I can't accurately judge.

In case you've never noticed, I'm not a nice person.

 

If you're reading this on my Facebook page and you've known me for a number of years, you're probably thinking, "What on earth is she talking about? She's one of the sweetest, most sympathetic, most compassionate people I know!"

 

Except I'm not. That's just the face I put on for the public eye. (I sure as hell wouldn't have survived in retail this long if I wasn't an absolute sweetheart to all appearances.)

I enjoy being sarcastic. The more wounding, the better. In fact, I'm a self-described acerbic bitch. After all, what's the point of cracking the verbal whip if you don't see people squirm?

There was a gentleman (and it might be pushing it to use the term "gentleman") I dated for a couple of years and was friends with for many years after that. B's parents hated me because I was too goddamn manipulative. It wasn't hard...most of the time, I didn't have to pout, beg or otherwise cajole. If I said I wanted something, I got it--no questions. I mean, B is the same guy who, several years ago, bought me an Xbox 360 for Christmas after I said I missed mine. At this point, we had long since stopped dating and I hadn't even said I wanted one! (So maybe I'm not all that manipulative and B is just a "soft touch" as my mother used to say. But it's not for want of trying with people other than B.)

 

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Sometimes, I think I overreact when it comes to things like blowing people (and friendships) off. But I go with what I feel each time, and if my intuition says "leave", I'm gone. (Even if the leave message comes while I'm "in the PMS Zone".)

 

I was waiting (not entirely patiently) for a new friend to come back from performing a chore and--perhaps out of boredom--I let a sarcastic tweet rip. Now one of my longtime friends might have come back and said something like, "Sheesh, D...impatient much?" But "K"? K claimed that I "hurt" her.

Oh, I'm sorry...you were looking for someone who is always sugar and spice and sweetness? Someone who isn't sarcastic, acerbic, doesn't cuss and especially doesn't use the many variations of "fuck" often enough to make Debra Morgan proud? You're barking up the wrong tree, babe, 'cause I'm exactly the opposite.

Now K hasn't exactly made a secret of her success. I grant that the online entertainment magazine she works for is her sister's brainchild and it looks like it's more of a labor of love on K's part...but someone who has publicists emailing her on a regular basis, asking her to interview their celebrities, is certainly no small fry. (Despite the fact that I've never heard of the magazine until a couple of weeks ago.)

So in my "burning bridges mode" (once I start flicking that proverbial Bic, I can't stop), I tweeted:

I forget that in this crass, highly consumerist, money hungry society, you don't mean anything to anyone unless you're a celebrity. (Or the child of a famous, Old Hollywood family, like one I follow and one I used to crush on.)

(I'm referring to Martha Plimpton and Cade Carradine in that second comment. Nothing against them, especially since Martha is clearly trying to distance herself from her father's famous name and make her own way in the world--they just got thrown in there for examples' sake.)

We went back and forth for a few minutes and I told K a variation on what I said above and she said something to the effect of, "I didn't say you couldn't be yourself...just tone it down a little."

But that is "myself", I thought. (In fact, I believe my exact response was "Except 'myself' is not nice".) "Toning it down" is not being me. It's being some plasticized, perfectionist version of me--a robot that society might accept, but I would not. No one would dare tell Stephen King that he needs to "tone down" the "thrills and chills" that make up his books...I feel the same way about my personality.

 

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In fact, while we're on the topic of me and who I am, another thing I should point out is that I fail at meeting the definition of "normal".

 

Normal people don't believe in "soul families". (I almost said "soulmates", but actually, quite a lot of people believe in those.) Normal people don't believe that Paganism, the occult and other supernatural occurrences are...well...normal. (Normal people don't watch A Gifted Man and find it amusing to watch Michael Holt deal with issues that are normal to them, come down to it.) Normal people don't sit down and watch a movie the day before Samhain, thinking that it might possibly be a message from A Certain Someone currently residing in the Summerlands. (Normal people also don't call Halloween "Samhain" and the place where you go between incarnations "the Summerlands", either.) Hell, normal people don't even get pulled out of class (in high school) by complete strangers because they make a compelling interview for a sociology project!

 

I AM NOT NORMAL!!!

(Get the picture?)

 

 

 

 

I'm going to take my sarcastic little self off to bed now. I haven't written for days and if I keep this up much longer, my biting remarks to myself won't be sarcasm...they'll be the truth.

Before I got sick, I mentioned possibly doing a list of major world events that occurred the year I was born. I skipped over a few (including important events in the Iran-Contra Affair), but you can get a full list by looking up 1986 on Wikipedia.

(Oh...and--geisha geek¹ that I am--I learned that I was born in Showa 69. ^_^)

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When I was…

 

Twelve Days Old: Brain, the first PC virus, began spreading.

Three Weeks Old: the space shuttle Challenger exploded seventy-three seconds after liftoff, killing six astronauts and teacher Christa McAuliffe.

Just shy of a month old (2/3): Pixar Studios opened its doors.

Two Months Old: Out of Africa won Best Picture at the 58th Academy Awards.

Three Months Old: the Chernobyl Disaster occurred.

Six Months Old: Sarah Ferguson married Prince Andrew.

Just shy of seven months old (8/6): 12.9 inches of rain fell on Sydney in one day.

Eight Months Old: the Oprah Winfrey Show debuted.

Nine Months Old: Phantom of the Opera debuted in London and the centennial of the Statue of Liberty’s dedication was celebrated.

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Famous Faces Who Also Joined the Quarter Century Club this Year

• Mischa Barton – actress (I think she was on The OC)
• Charlotte Church – operatic soprano
• Stacie Orrico – singer (she was a one-hit-wonder, but I still like “Stuck”)
• Brittany Snow – actress (American Dreams)
• Lady Gaga – singer
• Amanda Bynes – actress (too many to name)
• Leighton Meester – actress (Gossip Girl)
• Dianna Agron – actress (Glee)
• Robert Pattinson – actor (Harry Potter and Twilight)
• Megan Fox – actress (and sex symbol! Haha!)
• Shia LeBeouf – actor (Even Stevens and more recently of the Transformers franchise)
• Mary Kate & Ashley Olson – actresses, media moguls, etc.
• Kat Dennings – actress (now starring as Max on 2 Broke Girls)
• Kellie Pickler – singer and occasional actress
• Lindsay Lohan – actress
• Usain Bolt – Olympic athlete (He’s my age? WOW!)
• Lea Michelle – actress (Glee)
• Shaun White – Olympian, snowboarder/skateboarder (AKA: the Flying Tomato)
• Emmy Rossum – actress and soprano (currently on Shameless, played Christine in Phantom)
• Natalee Holloway: 1986-2005 (Goddess rest her soul)
• Penn Badgley – actor (Gossip Girl)
• Amber Hagerman – the girl for whom the Amber Alert was named, 1986-1996 (Goddess rest her soul)

 

 

 

 

 

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¹ Lesley Downer's book Geisha has several people mentioning that they were born in the Showa era, so it was a point of curiosity for me.